A Live in Nanny

We have a live in nanny for two days. I asked all my friends and went to three agents to find her. We interviewed five candidates. Last Sunday we met one candidate introduced by English speaking agent focused on expats. 1) Skanky Northern Nanny: We thought she was a little bit skanky. She was well dressed. She had white nail polish on her pinky and pointer fingers and black on the other fingers. Her skin was white. She talked in a weird way…sort of Northern Chinese Ghetto mannerism (according to Jesse). The stated reason she left her home with her sons (10 and 18) and husband is she want to see the out side of world. She has been in Suzhou for only one year. She’s been a cleaning lady for an American family. They live in a big house on the other side of lake. She wants to find a new family closer. 2) Hard Work Grandma: My friend introduced her as a very hard worker from the previous generation. I can see she is a very hard worker. I bet she gets up 5 am and cleans the house and cooks breakfast without complaining. I can also see her as being a typically Chinese grand ma to tell Kenaz to not to do anything because it is dangerous or dirty. 3) Great Experienced Nanny: Agent told me I am very lucky to find her. She lived with Taiwanese family for three years and took care of three small kids. She lived with Malaysian family for four years and learned Malaysian cooking. Currently she was with a new Malaysian family and she hated there because the wife makes her cook four times per day. We thought she talks too slow as if she is stupid or she thinks us very stupid. 4) YangZhou Nanny: My friend’s house cleaning lady brought her. She is a niece or her some far relatives. My friend’s cleaning lady is old loud YangZhounese who has very thick accent. She cannot stop talking about my friend and her sons. We thought her niece is nice, but she just came out from YangZhou and doesn’t have experience. 5) Good First Impression Nanny: I went to see her at agent. She was sitting on the chair at the lobby. She kind of gave me a smile. I didn’t know she is the one, but I got very good impression. After the interview, I thought Jesse would like her too. In fact, he did. She was with Taiwanese family for one year. She left them because the wife did not let her take a maid training session. She does not have experience take care of other people’s kids, but she has two girls at her home town. She is 46, but she looks like 30.

We decided to live with No.5 Good First Impression woman. So far she is nice. She knows how to cook Taiwanese food with less oil. She helps me to clean the house. Akiva and Kenaz are not totally used to her. Kenaz cries when she holds him. Very funny thing is Akiva has been very good to her. He wants to teach her how to get around in the house. He told her he can take her to a playground. He can show her where a supermarket is. When he speaks to her in Chinese, he sounds like a little teacher.

Yesterday she told me if her face looks like sick. I told her it doesn’t. In fact if it does, we did not want to hire her. She said she abortion 16 times (!!) so she has some age spots. I thought I did not understand her correctly because of my poor Chinese. She repeated me “I was young and had 16 time abortions”. I wish she did not tell me that. I asked her “all different men?” She said”no, with my husband”. Her health record done by recently did not show any diseases. I hope she is good person and good with my two sons……

[Jesse’s note:] We get different people all over the world who find this blog sometimes. Sometimes we get people here because they probably Googled “stroller” and “China”. Maybe sometimes we get people here because they type “Best Dongbei Northeastern Noodles Dumplings China review”. Sometimes we get wacky people who come to the site and leave weird psychotic messages (see comments to last post…I suspect some of those psychotic messages are left by Jeremy though). I believe over the next year this post will get quite a few hits by people who Google “China” and “Abortion”.

So for the new visitors who come to the site while researching about abortion habits in China, let me explain it now. Chinese have absolutely zero moral taboo against abortion. OK. That’s not 100% right. Teenagers are not supposed to get abortions. But… the taboo against unmarried teenage pregnancy is about 1568 times more intense than the taboo against teenage abortion.

I take a Jewish perspective towards abortion; it’s a sin against G_d that should not be held accountable by the laws of Man. (and too new visitors…I will not elaborate on that more) Generally speaking, people ideally should try to conduct themselves in such a way that abortion is not necessary. But I do not judge Chinese people because of their attitude about abortion. (I judge Chinese people on many other issues though, such as their lack of driving common-sense, lack of democracy, and eating fried chicken claws). If this Aiyi had a second child, she probably would have to pay a fine of around $4000 USD… or about two years salary (as our Aiyi,) or about 6 years salary based on her families income in the countryside. And if they did not pay that, her second child would not have any chance to get subsidized medical care, education, etc. The second-child cost is on a sliding scale based on the location of residency. We have heard that in Suzhou, the cost goes into up to $50,000USD. I know people who decided to pay this money so that they can have a legal second child. And every one of them that decides to have a second child must go through a long discussion…is it better to have a second child, a new Mercedes Benz, or another investment apartment? So from my perspective, the choice come down to a) having another spoiled rotten child and contributing to China’s over-population b) driving a pretentious car…poorly…and adding to the traffic problem, or c) adding to the local real-estate investment bubble problem.

Anyway, I do not believe Haga has any negative moral feelings toward people who have abortions. Even 16 abortions. She may think this shows lack of judgment skills. I think she is just shocked to hear this and felt it was Way Too Much Information. From my perspective, our new AiYi, like our last one, is an under-educated (yet literate) Chinese peasant woman. And most Chinese peasants have big hearts. But most…like people all over the world… do not really research or learn things outside of what their circle of relatives and friends teach them. It’s unlikely that they ever had a sex-ed class. Its quite possible that condoms are not sold in her village. So this fact does not bother me at all. I just hope that she does not have too many weird superstitions like believing her age-spots are because of her abortions[/Jesse’s Note]